A Caregiver’s Lesson in Patience
Throughout the last few years, there have been many times that I wished I had a “normal” life with less responsibilities. I haven’t been to the beach in years, and going on a date with my husband required planning and coordination. And with the frequent h
hospitalizations, it was hard to get too attached to any plans because they may need to be cancelled. One thing that helped me push through was some advice I was given. I am 29. If I spend 3 years of my life taking care of my grandma and making sacrifices for her, then I still have a lot of years left to go to the beach. But think about how important it is to her to have her family there for her in her last 3 years of her life.
Different perspective right?
Also, think about what they are going through. Are you upset because you had to cancel the memorial day party, or you can’t go to a bar at night? Have you thought about how they feel being in the hospital, missing out on life? When was the last time they got out of the house? When was the last time they got to go out to eat? It is hard being a caregiver – I know. Sometimes you need a break, and that is ok. But if you take a minute to think about how they are feeling, it might give you some understanding.
Enjoy Everything
Learn to enjoy the time you have with them. Think of it less as a job, and more as a privilege. They are teaching you patience, compassion, understanding, and even offering you a lesson in mortality.
As my grandmother was aging, she was becoming less mobile. She couldn’t make dinner the way she used to. She couldn’t sweep the floor or vacuum the way she had for the last 80 years. Sometimes she would say things like “Don’t you ever eat pork?”, “Wow that floor sure is dirty”, or “look at all those dog nose prints on the window.” It used to drive me nuts. I would get
so frustrated that she didn’t just ask me to do the chores. Instead it felt like she was manipulating me. But what was pointed out to me was that for 90+ years of her life, she didn’t have to ask someone, she just did it. So instead of getting frustrated about her comments, I tried to be understanding about how frustrating it must have been to have to ask for things.
I read somewhere that when we ask God for patience he provides opportunities in which we LEARN patience. That is something I have definitely gotten better at the last 2 years. I hope you take this opportunity as well, and enjoy the time you have.